Ashes of memories

Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to the wonderful Annie Proulx.
Rating: G
Feedback: Yes, thank you very much.

Summary: That's what I imagine will happen when Jack returns to the mountain.

When he was young, Brokeback was so full of life. Now there's only stillness.

The ageless rise and fall of the land made him small. Ennis Del Mar sits down gingerly again on the slope where he had found Jack Twist waiting for him, that summer a lifetime ago, after they spent their first night together.

He closes his eyes, and again feels the wind from twenty years ago, calling up bittersweet memories that are now painful; painful because they are all he has now; besides the little wooden box on his laps. .

He can almost feel the warmth of Jack Twist through the cold mountain air. He can see Jack declining on the slope, a stalk playing between his lips, young, beautiful, and innocent; a flame that means heaven to a freezing man, yet will nonetheless burn when hold too close. Ennis was never brave enough to embrace Jack. Now that the flame had died, he misses it terribly.

He remembers one night after telling Jack about a memory from his childhood, he found Jack looking at him funny, like he had just said something wrong. His had frowned and asked curtly what it had been. Jack only pulled him into his strong arms and held him tightly. Ennis had felt his heart soothed, and hurts he didn't even know existed started to heal.

Since then, he had realized that there would be no going back;

He stares at the box that held Jack's ashes. He still finds it hard to believe that Jack can be reduced into a box. In his memories, Jack is strong, volatile, and larger than life. Jack belong with the mountain, the wind, and the river.

He opens the casket carefully, and is suddenly gripped by an enormous sadness that makes his breathe short. This is what remains of his Jack.

The sky falls away, and the earth hushed.

Sudden gale rises from nowhere, and sweeps Jack's ashes into air, fluttering like so many winged memories. Clouds break away and sun's ray spills onto the slope, grass blazing like flame. Ennis Del Mar looks up and sees the horizon lined with a glorious gold. Soaked in the unique chill of Brokeback mountain, he finally returns home.

“Jack Fucking Twist.” Ennis mutters.

Saying that name never fails to bring smile to his face, even if tears are streaming down his cheeks.

Read more!